hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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