I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
