I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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