My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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