bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I'm both gender and math confused
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
