soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I fill condoms, not promises.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
