I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize