the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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