And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Randomize
