Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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