I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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