The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
