Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
