i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
