Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
