Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
they need to just BURY HIM!
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
