The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I just want nice things and good sex
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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