I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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