When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
birth control should be required to get into college
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
