Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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