I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
This show inspires me to have sex in space
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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