K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
