I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
