you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
