their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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