hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
