you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I just gargled with NyQuil
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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