Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
