are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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