you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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