Well apparently he's into motor boating.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize