Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
