Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
