this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
