I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
