Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
