he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
So many bounce houses so little time
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Randomize
