the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
