we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
