You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
