I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
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