I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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