Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
