We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
If that was your dad, he is hot
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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