I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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