Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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