so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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