Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
