They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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