so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
