you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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