I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize