everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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