They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
