So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
How does it feel to date your dad?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize