no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
You need Xanax blowdarts
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
