so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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