oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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