im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
