p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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