So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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