why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
pop tarts are not kleenex
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
try to milk me bitch
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