no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
you're hired as official boob wrangler
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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