i permit you to call me
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize