It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
