do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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