my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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