So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
COCAINE IS GR8
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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