I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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