So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
God I need to hump something, right now.
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