just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
