I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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