Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
