Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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