we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Randomize
